More Poetry

I got a comment today on an old post where I wrote about Poetry on the Bus . The person said that it was his brother that wrote that, and that he had a poem too. I did a Google search, and I'm not sure, but I'm thinking this is the brother. This kid is pretty talented too, and according to this, he's only in the 7th or 8th grade. Gosh....I can't imaging being that articulate or that deep at that age. I'm not sure I'm that deep now! So Brendan...if you're out there....here's your poem. I love it! Thanks for stopping by my blog.

By the way....as you might note....these two brothers go to the Denver School of the Arts. I went to see Aida there a couple of months ago, and I'd have to say that I enjoyed it as much, if not more than many of the productions I've seen at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. I'd say dollar for dollar I got way more for my money at the School of the Arts.

Brendan Craine
Denver School of the Arts
Seventh and Eighth Grade

Locked Up
If I listen closely enough, I can still hear another heartbeat,
which is locked my soul in a padded room in a hotel where you tip the
bellhop with a smile that I've never been able to pay. I can never reach low
enough in my own body to find what still breathes there, feeding off the
tendrils of feeling I can still poke through my own skin. My mother departed
and left me in my cage of a crib, chained down to a world with manacles of
faith, where emotion is a sign of weakness.
I can't break the bonds and run free in the pastures of my brain because
it is a strange place. I only know the dim black lines that crisscross my vision
and blur until they become iron bars, and I could wrench at them with my
hands until my fingers bled, but I still couldn't let myself out or let a single
tear fall and melt the metal, pouring my essence from the cage I built around
myself until I drowned.
If I listen closely enough, I can still hear my own breathing, and the cage
becomes a womb, where I've already pasted my memories on the wall like
posters, hung with biting words I've been forced to keep down. I've wanted
to trace the tendrils, venturing down the horrible cramped tunnels of feeling
to find out what is living inside of me, but it is a one-way journey and I have
been raised to like the surface, taking privacy only in the dark little room I keep
badly furnished in my head, just to have somewhere I can't hear my heartbeat.
If I listen closely enough, I can still hear someone crying,
Thoughts turning themselves into shining words that pour down my face in
rivers that can't be heard for fear of being locked once more in the badly furnished
room where I can only hear what I've kept in there, and the piece of
me that still wants to crawl into bed and not wake up. If I could just curl up
and cease to think maybe I could find that smile I've kept hidden under the
mattress just so that I could finally check into the room where I could finally
feel the warm embrace of my mother's heartbeat.

Online Dating

A friend of mine sort of pushed me into the world of online dating tonight. I don't mean pushed in a bad way. I've been wanting to do it for a long time, but always had some excuse. This friend wouldn't listen to any of my excuses and sat here until I finished at least some sort of profile. I'm not really happy with my profile at this point. I just sort of put out a few words to finish it. So....here is where you all come in. I think I still have a few occasional readers of my blog, don't I? I'm horrible about describing myself and what I want, so I'm hoping that someone out there can help me. I would love it if some of you that know me would tell me how you would describe me to someone who might want to date me. It would be such a huge help. Please help me create a really cool ad so that I might be able to give someone an idea of who I really am. Thank you in advance.

This is scary

So....I'm always telling my friends how I think the DVR is one of the best inventions ever and how much it has changed my life. It's a major time saver when I can fast forward thru commercials and I can stop it and do dishes or take a phone call, and pick right back up where I left off. I also love how I can rewind if I miss something. I guess until this morning, I didn't realize just how much this little machine has seeped into my consciousness. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw my cat doing something cute, and my first thought was to grab the remote and rewind it so I could catch the whole thing. Weird, huh?

Speaking of the cat, things are going okay. She still keeps to herself a lot, but she is hiding less and less. The relationship is still mostly on her terms. She has to be the one to approach me when she gets ready. If I approach her, she runs. But, the good news is that she is approaching more and more. The thing I do like is how cats are so much easier than dogs. I spend about one minute a day cleaning the cat box and I put a little food out and everything is good. This week when the gate nearly fell off my back fence, I didn't have to worry about a dog escaping. I can come home late or go away for a weekend and everything is good. I still miss having a dog and still feel a little like I've settled by getting a cat, but the cat seems to fit into my lifestyle at the moment, so I think we'll make it work. I was considering trading her in for one of my nephew's more friendly cats, but as I thought about it, I realized maybe I have bonded with Scully a little and I decided to keep her.

The Grammys

I don't usually watch the Grammys, but I did tonight because I actually had the good fortune of meeting a Grammy nominee this week, and I had to see if he made it on the show. Thru my work, I met the lead singer of DeVotchka. They are a local band who did most of the music for the movie Little Miss Sunshine. They didn't win the award, and I don't think that category even made it on the show, but I'm glad I watched anyway. I thought all of the performances were really, really good. And how about that Carrie Underwood. I'm not particularly a country fan, but she and Rascal Flats did an incredible job. Also, I learned something about a lot of R&B artists that were really good, who I really didn't know much about before.

Now, for the bad part. What was up with their acceptance speeches? I didn't hear one speech that even sounded articulate. The worst of the night had to be The Dixie Chicks. (And we had to hear them four times.) They were just plain goofy...and not in a good way. Aren't many of these people supposed to be writers? You'd think they could write a decent thirty second acceptance speech. I'm just glad that so many of the awards were awarded before the show so we weren't subjected to anymore meaningless ramblings.

The Cat

I'm not sure how this cat thing is going. I mean, I like a pet that is glad to see me when I get home from work....not one that hides. Occasionally Scully will come out of hiding, and she spends about 10 minutes an evening near me for some attention, but that's about it. The rest of the time she hides. The thing about cats is that the relationship is all on their terms. When she needs attention, I have to give it to her, but when I want to be greeted when I get home from work, she is nowhere to be found. Right now she is downstairs meowing loudly, but she won't come upstairs with me and when I try to see what she needs, she hides and even hisses at me. So...how am I supposed to know what she is meowing about? Dog's are much easier to understand. I'm still feeling that sense of grief over not having a dog. I'm not giving up on Scully yet. I think we both need some time. But, if she's going to spend 90 percent of her time in hiding, I'm not sure she is the pet for me.

Shoes

Remember last year when I was buying all those cute shoes to celebrate the New Year? Well.....here are this year's shoes.




I haven't even thought of wearing anything but boots since the blizzard right before Christmas. We got tons of snow then, and have gotten one major storm a week since then, with very little melting. In fact, it's snowing again now. It's hard to capture in pictures just how crazy all of this is...but her are a couple of my attempts.


The view from my front door.


My back yard.

I've only fallen once getting to and from work, but climbing over piles of snow to get on and off the bus has been quite challenging. After a couple of weeks of slipping and freezing, I headed to REI for some gear. As I explained to the sales clerk, I'm not really an outdoors person, I'm just trying to get to work and back on the bus. It's brutal out there.

An addition

Ever since my dog died last April, I've been contemplating what to do next about a pet. I've debated if I'd rather have the freedom of no pets, or if it's better to sacrifice the freedom to experience attachment to another living being. I've always been a dog person, and I love the companionship of a dog and they way they seem to open doors in some situations. I mean...you go anywhere with a dog, and people stop and want to pet your dog, or ask you about your dog. They are such social beings. But, dogs take a lot of work and a lot of attention. Lannie was older, and she was okay with staying home by herself all day, but I wondered if another dog would be. Also, Lannie didn't really try to get out of the yard, so I felt okay with the state of disrepair of my fence. I started wondering if maybe a cat would be a better fit for my current lifestyle. I could go away for a weekend and not have to worry about leaving it with someone. I wouldn't have to feel guilty if I went out after work. Lot's of things just seemed to make sense about getting a cat over a dog. But...can a person really switch from being a dog person to a cat person?

I was with my nephew and his wife last weekend, and they have 5 cats and one of them really didn't seem to enjoy being around so many other cats, so we thought maybe I could take that cat on a trial basis and see how things go. So yesterday was the appointed day to pick up the cat. First I went to Petco to buy the appropriate supplies. The weirdest feelings began to come over me. I kept being drawn to the dogs in the store and the dog supplies and dog pictures. I finished the shopping and picked up the cat, but all the while it felt like I began grieving the loss of my dog all over again. Today I'm trying to bond with the cat, but I mostly just feel sad. I wonder if I can ever learn to love a cat or if I'll always feel like I settled. Will I ever stop feeling like I'm being disloyal to my dearly departed puppy?

The cat (Scully) seems to be adjusting okay. She hides a lot but comes around to me occasionally. I don't mind the hiding as long as I have an idea where she is, but for about 4 hours this morning I had no idea. I looked everywhere I could think of, with a flashlight. I was getting nervous that she got trapped somewhere she couldn't get out of. I had looked so thoroughly that I really started getting worried. Finally, I shined the flashlight behind a laundry basket way back in my closet, and I saw a whisker. I hope we will bond, but if not, the agreement was that I could take her back. We'll see how it goes.

What's wrong with these pictures?

For all you writers out there. These signs have been bugging me for a while.


The Good Times at Colfax and Clarkson




Down the street at Colfax and Colorado Blvd.

This Just In

So, I was in 7-11 the other day and this caught my eye. The only reason I paid attention was because my birthday is on 11/8. So, I figure what great excuse for a really good time on my birthday. But then my friend Roger reminded me that if the world is ending on the 9th we should probably spend the 8th repenting....not partying. But....I think there will be plenty of time for that. Kinda makes you wonder what Roger has to repent for anyway, doesn't it? So, if anyone wants to celebrate like it's the last night of the world on my birthday....let me know.

Catching up again

Wow, has it really been four months since I've updated my blog? This is not a good way to keep readers, I know. So....if any of you are still out there and you care, here's an overview of my last four months.

August was mostly spent traveling. I went again to Santa Fe for a week to attend the Image Journal's Art and Faith Workshop at the Glen. This year's theme was Love and Affliction: Art and the Paradox of Suffering. Pretty heavy stuff. What an incredibly fun and stimulating week. I took the songwriting workshop with Karin and Linford from Over The Rhine. How fun it was to spend a week getting to know them and how comforting it was to find out that everyone else in the workshop were also such big fans that they also felt like total idiots every time they tried to talk to them. This was nothing against Karin and Linford....it's just that thing that happens to you when you actually get to hang out with someone you really admire and you want everything you say to be so memorable and profound but you try too hard and it turns out to be ordinary or stupid. I got to have lunch one day with Bret Lott, an actual Oprah book club author. I didn't even know who he was until lunch was almost over. That was probably a good thing because I didn't turn into an idiot like I did with Linford and Karin. It was good to hang out with my friends who went with me....Scott, Anne and Cyndi, and my last year's new best friend Sara, and my this year's new best friend, Amy. (Yes...it's a lot like summer camp except you don't get kicked out for drinking!)

Then came the Star Trek convention in Vegas. I'm not really a Star Trek fan but some of my family members are and I figured what's not to love about a Star Trek convention? It was all great and I think I made it thru without exposing the fact that I knew almost nothing about the show. There was one terrifying moment when my sister and nephew got away from me and someone behind one of the booths starting talking to me all about the character development in season three. I just smiled and nodded and looked around for someone to save me. The highlight for me (other than winning $115 at 3 card poker) was the Leonard Nimoy photography exhibition. He's really an interesting man and it was great to hear him talk about his art.

Then came the Alaskan cruise. My six friends and I had an amazing time. I figured being from Colorado, that I had seen pretty scenery and I wasn't expecting to be impressed...but I was. There is nothing like watching a glacier calve or seeing a bald eagle soar a few feet above your head. We had too many laughs and good times to mention here. I'm just so blessed to have this group of people to travel with. We've been to Italy a couple of times together too and we all just mesh and enjoy each other. I hope there will be many more trips....after I get this one paid off. It was hard on the wallet....and the waistline....but worth it. The highlight had to be our night before the cruise in Vancouver. We went to a lovely rooftop steakhouse for dinner and the only seats that were left were in the bar section. So we sat with an older couple....Chuck and Dorothy. They were delightful and they seemed to kind of like us too. Chuck was fascinated by my tales of drunk dialing and he not only gave me his own number to store in my cell phone but numbers of many of his friends too. We spent hours ordering up martinis....wine....and food, and finally when it came time for Chuck and Dorothy to leave, the waiter informed us that they picked up our tab! UNBELIEVABLE! It was so touching that I actually cried. Here's our picture from the second formal night. We clean up pretty good, I think!


To complete the travel section of my update, my last and final trip, (not counting the wonderful weekend I spent in Idaho Springs with Mary and Betty) was a quick trip to Germany last week. Lufthansa Airlines invited a few agents to experience their new business class service, so they took us to Berlin and Munich. It was way too quick, but I found Berlin to be fascinating. I'd love to go back. I kept looking around for those angels from Wings of Desire. See it if you haven't. It's a great movie. Oh...and by the way...business class on Lufthansa rocks. They have those seats that lay all the way down and they have on demand movies and CD's. There was so much to do that I didn't even get a chance to sleep in the cool seats. Now I just have to figure out how I can only fly business class for the rest of my life!

In other news...that dating thing that I mentioned a few posts back...well...when a guy tells you in the beginning that he's never been in a relationship (besides his marriage) longer than three months...don't expect it to be any different for you. Honestly, I still think he's a really good guy and yes...we're still friends, but his life is just too complicated right now for dating. I don't like it but I respect his decision. To be honest, I'm still hoping that he'll come to his senses and realize what he's missing out on, but I'm not waiting around for that. My friend Sara reminded me yesterday of a passage in one of my favorite books The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen. (An amazing little book.) It pretty much sums up what happened and what I've been trying to remind myself since. I'll share it here because maybe someone else could use these words too.

Understanding the Limitations of Others

You keep listening to those who seem to reject you But they never speak about you. They speak about their own limitations. They confess their poverty in the face of your needs and desires. They simply ask for your compassion. They do not say that you are bad, ugly, or despicable. They say only that you are asking for something they cannot give and that they need to get some distance from you to survive emotionally. The sadness is that you perceive their necessary withdrawal as a rejection of you instead of as a call to return home and discover there your true belovedness.

So yeah....life goes on, and I'm in the ever ongoing quest of discovering my belovedness. I've got many good friends and family who help remind me of that, and many of them are coming out next week to my birthday party at Casa Bonita. Yes...I know the food there is horrible, and really once you get over about 10, the novelty of the place kind of wears off, but there's nothing like a cute young cliff diver to get you thinking about moving on.

(Last year's Casa Bonita Extravaganza)

Recurring dreams

I used to have a recurring dream. It's been a few years since I've had it, (that I remember) but I had it again last night. There are some variations to the dream. Either I'm in an elevator of a large building and I can't get the elevator to stop on the floor that I want. Or I might be in a large hotel or cruise ship and I can't find my room...or I might find my room, but I don't have a key...stuff like that. Last night's dream was the hotel version. I was with friends and we were splitting up to freshen up in our rooms and then meet up again. The hotel was large, but I did manage to find my room. When I got there, however, I didn't have a key. To make matters worse, there were lots of people in the hallway waiting for rooms. Some of these people had staked a claim on my room, but luckily, they didn't have a key either. Someone finally opened the room, and I proved that my stuff was already in there, so the other people backed off. I still didn't have a key though, so I couldn't leave the room. Then, my dead aunt Viola showed up to share the room with me. Also, even though my mom wasn't in the dream, I ended up with her purse and suitcase to watch over. To make matters worse, when it came time to meet up with my friends again, of course I didn't know their room numbers, and couldn't figure out how to use the hotel phone to call them.

Weird, huh? Parts of the dream I understand. I think the basic theme must be wanting something I can't get to, and even though overall, my life is in a pretty good place right now, I think I have some idea as to why this dream is showing up again now. Parts of the dream make no sense to me whatsoever, though. Like what in the heck does my dead aunt Viola represent? That puzzles me. I really wasn't that close to her, and I don't think she's ever shown up in one of my dreams before. I can't figure that one out.

I realize I take a risk in posting a dream. Someone out there who understands dreams is probably reading this going...."Wow...this person REALLY has issues!" Maybe they will clue me in on what they are.

The follow up

I'm not sure that guys in general know the importance of the follow up phone call after a first date. Sure...all dates end with the line, "We should do this again sometime," but you never know if they mean it until the phone call. Personally, I would prefer the phone call while the guy is on his way home from the date, but, from Mr. C, the call came the next afternoon. Not bad....for a guy.

The beginning stages of dating can be exciting yet very nerve wracking. I find myself analyzing every gesture. "What did he mean when he said I looked different from my picture?" "He hasn't called me in 24 hours. Why does he hate me?" Of course, I do this with my friendships in the beginning too. It's the constant pull between "they love me....they love me not." The good news is, this stage doesn't last forever. I eventually gain a sense of security and relax in the fact that I have something to offer in the relationship and apparently the other person sees it too. Oh....and it's also good when I get to the place where I remember, it's NOT all about me. Sometimes when someone doesn't call, they are just busy! Imagine that!

Moving on

This is something I didn't talk about a lot, so some of you reading this may be surprised to know that I was in an 11 year, mostly long distance, on again off again relationship, that ended in the fall. I guess I somehow felt that the relationship wasn't real since it was mostly long distance, so I kept it to myself and a few close friends. But the thing is, even though a lot of the relationship was lived out in my head, it was still real to me, and the ending of it was painful. Without going into the reasons, he ended it with pretty much no goodbye or "thanks for the memories" or anything. I hadn't heard from him in probably seven months until last night, when I get a very strange IM. It was basically a "hello....I'm sorry....I hope you're well....and goodbye." I responded with "I don't hate you....I'll always think of you fondly....it's probably best we don't try to reconnect and I hope you're well too." The interesting thing is how I felt afterwards. I felt normal. I didn't feel this desperate need to e-mail him and try to get more from him. I felt curious. I wondered what prompted this exchange. But I didn't feel that emotional turmoil that I've felt in the past. I just kinda shrugged my shoulders and said "Hmmmm.....what was that all about?" He played a significant part in my life, and there will always be a part of me that cares what happens to him, but I can do that from a distance. And the best part is, I don't feel like I need anything from him now. I guess this is what it feels like to move on. Interesting......

Catching up

I'm sure that the few of you that read my blog have probably stopped, since it's been so long since I've updated it, but I've decided to let you all know that yes....I AM still alive.

Life after loosing Lannie was pretty tough for a while. It took me three weeks before I could walk into the house without crying my eyes out. I was honestly worried that maybe there was something wrong with me, but I found a few pet loss support web sites and found that what I had been feeling is pretty normal. It helped to know that. Grief is such a tricky thing, because I don't think you can ever really grieve about just one thing. A loss just reminds you of all the other losses you've experienced. It felt like someone took the top off the big bottle of sadness in my life and it was all coming to the surface. I was proud of myself because I think I handled things in a pretty healthy way. I talked about it...I cried about it...I stayed in bed for a couple of days...and then little by little, things got better.

On a brighter note....I finally hit my 100 pound weight loss mark back in April. That was big. It took me just under a year. The progress has been slow since then, but I'm still hanging in there. My next big milestone is when I hit the weight that it says on my driver's license. Do you know how sad that is to lose over 100 lbs and still not weigh what it says on your driver's license? How does that happen? My picture now looks nothing like me....but the weight almost matches. Weird.

On an even brighter note....I actually had a real date tonight. I'd like to say how great it was...and how I hope there will be more....but I accidentally gave him my blog address, so how much can I admit? I'll just say that it's refreshing to think that maybe there really are a few nice guys out there, and maybe I've actually met one, and maybe he's even interested in me too. All these things remain to be confirmed....but I'm hopeful, and that's a nice place to be.

A Loss

The house seems empty tonight. I knew this day was coming, but it's still hard, nevertheless. I had to put my 15 year old Bedlington Terrier, Lannie down today. If you don't know about Bedlingtons, they are the very soft dogs that look like little lambs. Some people think they are poodles with a bad hair cut. I'll never forget one day when I was walking her after just being groomed, and a kid stopped me and said, "Hey....what happened to your dog?"

What a weird range of emotions. First I feel incredibly sad...and then I feel silly for feeling so sad...I mean after all, it's just a dog. There is even some guilt....like maybe I didn't take her for walks often enough...or I should have shared more of my food with her. But there is something about loving a dog. You do that baby talk kind of thing and you express love in ways you would like to be able to do with people if it weren't so scary. I saw this so much with my Dad when he fell in love with his dalmation, Edward. When I heard him express his love to his dog....I felt loved too.

One of the only times I ever saw my Dad cry involved Lannie. When Lannie was a puppy, my Mom and I headed off for one of our Saturday shopping trips, and my Dad decided to take Lannie with him to work. He always took his dogs to work, but he was not used to dealing with a terrier. When you let a terrier loose, they are off to see the world without any sense of home. His dogs always stuck by his side. So, he turned his back for a moment, and Lannie was gone. He looked around for her but couldn't find her, so he came home. When we got home from the mall, he was pacing in the driveway and crying. After a few tense hours, some nice people who found her contacted us, and we got her back. But I knew that he mostly wasn't crying out of love for Lannie, but out of love for me. That's what I think is so cool about dogs. They teach you about love in ways you least expect it.

So, I just had my first dinner in a long time where I had to rinse the dish before putting it in the dishwasher, since she wasn't here to lick it. Other things I will miss is her next to me in bed and the comfort of her scent. I'll also miss seeing her hide her head under the covers in the morning when I would turn on the light, but she was still trying to sleep. That always made me laugh. Life goes on...but it won't be the same.

By the way...after two sad posts, I'll try for a cheerier post next time. My whole life isn't sad, I just tend to feel like writing more at sad times.

Playing Tag

Last summer I was invited to my friend Aimee's for a 4th of July party. During the course of the party, I was sitting, chatting with another friend, when a young boy named Ben, came running up to our table and shouted out "Anyone who wants to play tag with me....raise your hand." When neither of us raised our hands, he looked at us incredulously and threw his own hand in the air and said, "Like this", as if the only reason we didn't respond must have been because we didn't understand his instructions. We laughed and made some adult like excuses of why we didn't want to play tag, and sent him off to find his uncle Pete, who we figured wouldn't turn down his request. He returned to our table a couple of other times during the evening in an attempt to engage us to play. He was so funny and I can remember telling everyone about this little 5 year old who was the highlight of the party for me.

It wasn't but two months later when Ben was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. They were able to do some treatments that gave him a couple of good months, but on Monday, he passed away. You can read about his story here. I can't imagine the pain his family must be experiencing, but I was reading a book this week and there were some thoughts that gave me comfort....something to hang on to in times when life seems so cruel. The author tells the story of a time when George Bernard Shaw was comforting a friend during a particularly difficult time in her life.

I was shivering. Shaw sat very still. The fire brought the warmth...How long we sat there I do not know, but presently I found myself walking with dragging steps with Shaw beside me...up and down Adelphi Terrace. The weight upon me grew a little lighter and released the tears which would never come before...He let me cry. Presently I heard a voice in which all the gentleness and tenderness of the world was speaking. It said: "Look up, dear, look up to the heavens. There is more in life than this. There is much more."

I love that. It's the only thing that gets me thru sometimes. There is more in life than this.

I'm sorry now that I didn't play tag with Ben that day....but the legacy he leaves with me is that I plan to say yes a lot more often from now on. Thanks Ben, for that lesson.

Peer Pressure

My friend Sara is coming for a visit next weekend, and today, I accomplished the one thing that I had to get done before she comes out. You might think that would be cleaning the house or sprucing up the guest room, but no....it was buying a new cell phone. On Sara's last visit, she totally shamed me over my nearly antique cell phone. I've probably had it for six years or so. I can tell by some of the old numbers I have in there of people I haven't called since then. In cell phone time, six years is an eternity. By the way...Sara is not my only friend who has shamed me over my cell phone. But here's my problem with cell phones, and technology in general. I have this fear that the minute I buy something that they will come out with something better the next day. That is why I have been putting this off. I kept waiting for the next cool thing....and even when a cool thing comes out....I keep thinking the next one will be better....so I wait. This is the reason I haven't bought an Ipod yet. I know, any day, they will come out with a better one. In the meantime....I sit with my antique cell phone and no MP3 player. I wonder if I have commitment issues.

This is so me

AOL has these welcome screens that come up and they try to entice you to click on the link. This morning's title was "If you're angry, blame your sign." It was just enticing enough to make me bite....or click. Here's what they said about me.....and it's so true it made me laugh.....especially the part about Six Feet Under. It was my favorite show, but I haven't bought the DVDs.......yet.


Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)You're one of the deeper -- and darker -- signs of the zodiac, Scorpio, and that's just the way you like it. More than others, you understand there is no happiness without pain. Nothing makes you crazier than someone telling you "smile!" or "cheer up!"
What to avoid: Game shows; cheerleading competitions; boy band concerts; half-full glasses; mysteries that have already been solved; direct sunlight; people who ask too many personal questions; dating someone with bad credit.
Your survival pack: Melancholy Britpop; black eyeliner; true crime novels; thunderstorms; "Six Feet Under' on DVD; a private savings account.

Poetry on the bus

RTD has this cool program called Poetry To Go. Basically, a bunch of kids submitted poems, and they picked the best ones and posted them on the ad placards inside the bus. Here's one I saw last night. I love the image of "Green Marbles of Hope." If you want to read more, you can check them out here. Whoever thought of putting poetry on the bus is BRILLIANT!


FLOORSEEDS

On the linoleum of life,
are the Green Marbles of Hope
(Spheres of Thought
and Pearls of Wisdom)
Slip on them,
and you break your nose
or
you break your fears
into pieces.

FLOORSEEDS
by Dylan Craine, age 16
Denver School of the Arts

How Embarrassing

Why is it when something embarrassing happens to you, you feel mortified, but yet, you have the desire to share it with all of cyberspace on your blog? I don't know....but here goes. I've been checking out my friend Anne's Eastern Orthodox church north of Denver. If you've been reading my blog, or if you know me, you know I've been losing weight. I don't wear a lot of dresses to work, which means it's been a while since I've had on a slip. But, for church I put on both. After the long drive from Denver, and a Starbuck's Venti Cappuccino, my first stop at church was the restroom. I came out with coat, purse and scarf in hand and walked the few feet to the sanctuary door. Something didn't feel right, and I looked down to see my slip had fallen around my ankles. My slip was black, as was my skirt and coat, which I dropped in my state of shock. I tried to quickly step out of my slip, and pick it up with my coat. I'm hoping because of all the black fabric that no one noticed anything. At least I'm choosing to believe that no one noticed. Otherwise I don't think I could show my face there again. Guess it's time for a new, smaller slip!

So, it's been a while since I've blogged. Work has been so crazy, and I'm realizing that the best thing about a blog is having something else to do when you really should be working. Unfortunately, I've barely had time to even read my other friend's blogs at work, let alone update my own. Then when I get home from work, I really don't feel like going anywhere near my computer. I just want to veg. It's been so bad that I've even considered getting rid of my high speed internet access at home. The thought passed though. I just don't think you can take that kind of step backwards when dealing with technology. It would be like giving up my DVR!!! THAT is not happening.

My Chinese New Year Shoes

See post of Dec. 31 for more info. I just found a web site that says in addition to buying new shoes, you should also buy new clothes (did that), pay off all your debts (got that mostly covered) and clean your house. Oh well....three out of four ain't bad...right?

Happy Anniversary!

Twenty-eight years ago today, two friends and I were in a car accident. It was a minor accident....the kind where no one got hurt....but your parents got really mad. It started out as one of our fun Saturday nights at After the Goldrush, a long gone 3.2 bar. I was a senior in high school, and my friends were a year older. It was the height of the disco scene, and we were there boogying with the best of them. We were supposed to be spending the night at Sandy's, who had her own apartment...but...we met some boys, and things changed. One of these boys had HBO at his apartment. That was a rare thing in 1978.....and we were VERY impressed, so we HAD to go check it out. I swear....we only cared about the HBO! So, we leave the bar, to follow the boys to their apartment, and I let Sandy drive my car, because my contact lenses were bothering me, and I had had a couple of drinks. We get on the freeway, and the boys made a quick exit that Sandy wasn't prepared for. She tried to follow them, but we hit a patch of sand and the back end of the car slid into the guardrail. Sandy quickly assured me that all was well, because SHE was alright, but all I could do was shriek, YOU WRECKED MY CAR!"

The boys...gentlemen that they were...saw our plight and came to assess the situation. We all decided that there was no reason that a little car wreck should end our fun for the evening, so we elected to not call my parents, and to drive the damaged car to the apartment. It made a horrible noise, but we drove on. In the morning, we drove back across town with the boys following us to make sure we were okay. (I told you they were gentlemen!) As we pull into Sandy's apartment parking lot, Jamie, Sandy's roommate, hears the loud racket of the car approaching, and opens her bedroom window to investigate. When she sees us, she begins yelling, "Where have you been? All your mothers have been calling!" I thought we were in big trouble then, but that Jamie is a quick thinker. She told my mother that we decided to stay at Teri's house, and she told Teri's mother that we stayed at my house. That crisis was averted, but my troubles were not over. I still had to tell my parents what happened. It was Sunday morning, and I decided to wait until they were at church and call them there. I thought maybe the yelling would be less that way. They didn't yell...they just told me to get home. So I'm thinking, I'll just go to bed, and they won't bother me when they get home from church. Yeah....right. They woke me up....imagine that! So yeah....I was in a bit of trouble....but we all survived it.

So...why am I writing about this 28 years later? Because, when the one year anniversary of the event rolled around, someone decided we should go out to dinner to commemorate it. We included a few additional friends besides the original four who were actually involved. Then we did it again the next year.....and we've been doing it every year since then. I've enjoyed all our get togethers, but I'd have to say my favorite was our 10th. We decided to go back to After the Goldrush. While everyone else was still 18 and drinking pitchers, we were pushing 30, two were VERY pregnant, and we were ordering up champagne.

Who would have known on that cold night in January, that a little car accident and some HBO would bond a group of girls....now women....all these years later? We've been thru marriages, divorces, births, deaths, good times and bad.

Tonight, there were a bunch of high schoolers at the restaurant, all decked out for their winter formal. I looked around and wondered if any of them would have a bond that would bring them together, 28 years later. I know my mother still doesn't find it amusing that we celebrate a car wreck that they ended up paying for, but I for one am glad it happened. It's nice to have friends who share your history....who know where you come from. I hope we'll be doing this for many years to come.

Confessions of a straight girl at a gay bar

Okay....So last night was a first for me. I have some gay friends, and we've been out together before, but for some reason, I've never been to a gay bar. My friend Steve is always raving about 80's night at his favorite gay bar which happens to be a couple blocks away. So, last night, he and I and our good friend Scot Bingry (not his real name) went. It was so much fun. I'm sitting here this morning thinking of last night's events and literally laughing out loud.

As I was preparing to go out, I was fretting about what I was going to wear and trying to make myself attractive, and all of the sudden it hits me...."You're going to a gay bar....It really doesn't matter how attractive you are!" But...what I failed to take into account is there aren't just gay guys at a gay bar....there were lesbians too....and not long after our arrival I discovered that apparently I had made myself sufficiently attractive. I was totally checked out by a woman there....which was a very odd experience. Luckily, it only went as far as checking me out. She was with someone so she didn't approach me. I'm so glad. I didn't want to have to break her heart.

Then we went into the room where they were having the drag queen show....and I discovered something about myself. Drag queens scare me! I can kind of handle the ones who really look like women, but the larger than life ones....who look like men on Halloween kind of give me the creeps. I don't know why...but when one would come by, I'd cringe and look the other way. So then I started wondering which bathroom the drag queens used, and Steve said that the Men's and Women's signs really don't mean anything there. It's pretty much just a free for all. He also said that there were no doors on the stalls, and if I was scared, he would come with me. Oh my....what an experience THAT was. I was laughing so hard I could barely go. It was just a moment that I'd never pictured in my wildest dreams....that someday I'd be in a stall in the bathroom of a gay bar with Steve acting as my door. Wow....All I can say is that we have bonded in a whole new way!

The dancing was fun. We pretty much danced non-stop the whole night. The 80's had some great dance tunes. The good part was that even with all the drinking, I lost a pound today . I think I may have to incorporate this into my weight loss plan. Oh....and did I mention the drinking? Two Dollar Cosmos! Need I say more?

Other highlights of the evening:
-Meeting Robert the cute and sweet waiter. Yeah....I know he has a boyfriend.....but I'm SURE I can turn him the other way.
-Calling Sara at 1am to tell her we loved her. I hope you enjoyed our drunken message, Sara and that we're still friends. I think you knew we were drinkers and dialers when you gave us your cell phone number. You had to know you were taking a chance!
-Staying until they kicked us out at closing time and professing my love for Robert to the whole bar. He probably gets that all the time.
-Being with two really good friends who always make me laugh and feel loved....even when we're not drunk. I love you guys....and I'm totally sober!

More from the 15

Tonight's interesting site on the 15......a woman gets on with the most tattered coat I have ever seen. I mean...there just isn't much left of it....filling falling out and the whole bit....but she is carrying a pristine gold foil Neiman Marcus shopping bag. It just makes you wonder.

A Late Night

My friend Steve's grandmother passed away last night, so he called upon me...his travel agent friend to help him get back to Seattle for the funeral. I didn't know anything about it until after I got home from work, so I was trying to figure out options from home using the Internet, rather than my airline computer at work. I called United and got a quote on a bereavement fare that even though it wasn't the lowest option, seemed to make the most sense. So, Steve comes over with a bottle of wine in hand, (always a good idea when you ask your travel agent friend to work after hours) and we decided to call United to hold some space until I could ticket it tomorrow. He gets a res agent on the phone and tells her his dates of travel and she tells him there is absolutely nothing available at the bereavement fare. I found that hard to believe as I had been watching availability for a few days, knowing that this was coming. So, we decide to traipse off to my office at 11pm and check it out for ourselves. Sure enough, the flights are WIDE OPEN!!!! ...just as I had suspected. What is wrong with these res agents.? Believe me...it's not that hard to spot these open seats. It took me about 15 seconds. Grrrrr......I can't stand incompetence. The lesson here is....it pays to check with someone who knows what they are doing...and never believe anything an airline tells you.

A period of mourning

Last week I heard the news I had been dreading. Smiley's has been sold. They are going to re-develop it into retail and condos. I guess it's good for the neighborhood, or something like that, but gosh...I hate to see that little piece of character go away. The interesting thing that I learned in the article is that there really IS a place that keeps track of the size of laundromats, and Smiley's really is one of the largest in the country. Now...they don't officially say they are the "world's largest" as the sign states....but hey.....close enough for me. Maybe I'll have to look into buying a condo and living IN Smiley's instead of behind Smiley's.

Note the sign "World's Largest Discount Laundromat"

I love the signs. One says "Smiley's is one of Denver's Most Exciting Landmarks...A place you will never forget." Another says "Dumb Looks are Still Free." Then there's the one that says "Denver's Friendliest Laundromat." What you don't see are the signs on the back of the building. "WARNING by the Denver Police Department: If you walk across this parking lot, and you are not washing clothes at Smiley's, you will be arrested, sent to jail, and prosecuted to the fullest extent possible." Real friendly...huh? Here's a link to a more recent picture of Smiley's and the new day-glo painted windows. I love how they advertise the free Wi-Fi. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in there with a laptop.
I think in tribute, I'll gather up some laundry and go wash something at Smiley's, even though I have my own washer and dryer. Anyone care to join me? I'll be the one with a laptop, blogging all about it. Hey...SOMEONE needs to use the free wi-fi.

There ought to be a law

The Stock Show is in town. All of the sudden everywhere you look downtown, there are Wrangler jean and cowboy hat clad men. I must tell you, I'm not a big fan of this look. I don't think Wrangler jeans do ANYTHING for a man's tush.

So, yesterday morning, I get off the bus, and I find myself walking next to one of these men. The one thing I'll say for him is that he must be a very law abiding citizen, because if the sign flashed "Don't Walk" he didn't walk....even if there were no cars anywhere in site. Because of this, I ended up walking a little ways in front of him. Next thing I know....I hear this disturbing sound, and I turn to find that it's this man....singing LOUDLY to his headphones. I'm sure it was some horrible country song that I don't even want near my ears. I swear....anyone who thinks this practice is a good idea should really have their own voice fed back into those headphones...just as the outside world hears it. Either that, or they should have a sock shoved in their mouth.

Blog Glitches

I finally started telling people about my blog, and people kept telling me that they were reading it, but couldn't figure out how to post to it. Come on people! It's not that hard. I figured it out! So, in spending time telling all my friends how they could get accounts so that they could post to my blog, three of my friends who were pretty clueless about blogging, have actually started blogs of their OWN.....and the best part is....my very own friends are now commenting on MY blog. That's not to say that Sara Z, and the SLC Urban Princess aren't my very own friends...they are...but now my longtime friends are posting...which is great.

But....I didn't KNOW they were posting, because for some reason, I'm not getting the e-mail notification anymore. Anyone else having this problem? I need to know when someone posts so that I can immediately drop everything and read it.

Also, I don't think the Library Thing is working right. My random books seem to be staying the same for a long time. Hey...you longtime bloggers....do these things just happen and fix themselves? Or do I need to do something to fix it?

Anway...welcome to my new blog friends. Hopefully your blogs will give me many more glorious hours of time wasting at work!

Resolutions

I'm not much of a believer in resolutions. I think it's because I'm just a little too rebellious to conform to what's expected. Like right now, I can't take all the weight loss commercials. I hate it because I'VE been losing weight since June, and I don't want people to think I'm just on the New Year's weight loss band wagon. It almost makes me want to eat, just to be different. But I won't. I'll find some other way to express my rebel side.

There is something about a new year that makes one want to reflect and think about change. So, here are some changes I've been thinking about. Not resolutions mind you....just changes.
1) I want to be less of a pack-rat. I think there is something about getting rid of the old to make room for the new. I could use some new in my life. That is...something besides new shoes and new clothes. I'd like some new adventures.
2) I want to do more with my little nieces and nephews. They are all so fun and adorable, and I love my time with them so much. There will be many more slumber parties in my future.
3) I want to live more intentionally and creatively. I'm not totally sure what that means yet, but I've got a few ideas that hopefully I'll talk more about as time goes on.
4) I want to actually read some of the books on my Library Thing list.

Now, here is a change that I wanted to make, that I'm not so sure how it's working out. I decided my bed was becoming a little more like a media center than a sleeping place. I watch TV in bed....I read in bed...I listen to music in bed...and I use my laptop in bed. I was thinking maybe I would sleep better if I actually dedicated my bed to sleeping. So, my solution was to move my little computer desk that I had set up right next to my bed, to a location across the room. Now, if I want to check my e-mail in the middle of the night, I actually have to get out of bed to do it. I feel pretty weird with my computer that far away though. I don't seem to be blogging as much or writing as many e-mails. It's just too inconvenient. So, I don't know. The computer desk may return to where it was. Right now, the desk is across the room, but the laptop is in bed with me. I'm not sure what the point of that is. Oh well....I tried.

What are you doing New Year's Eve?

It's New Year's Eve, and I actually have plans....fun plans. A week ago I didn't think I would have ANY plans, but then almost simultaneously I received two invitations and I had to choose. I HATE that. There was talk of a party at Scott's, but it was all kind of up in the air. Then I got an invitation from my long time friend (since we were 14) Betty to a little party that she was throwing with another friend. Right after that, the plans came thru and Scott's was a definite. It was a tough choice, but I decided to go to Scott's since I was kind of invited to it first, and since he lives close and I hate to drive anywhere on New Year's Eve. I promised Betty I'd make a drunken call to her at Midnight, though.

I heard something on the news this morning about some New Year's tradition I'd never heard of before. They said you should ring in the New Year with a new pair of shoes. It's symbolic of leaving the old behind and starting fresh. It seems I must have known this intuitively because I bought two pairs of shoes this week. I was on my way back from getting my new bus pass when I passed Famous Footwear on the 16th Street Mall, and decided to go in, since I'm still on the quest of those cute boots like those worn by the woman in Nickel Creek. They didn't have anything nearly as cute as those, but they did have a pair that would do, and they seemed to be the right balance of cute and practical, which is important when I walk for a good part of my commute to work. I took the boots to the counter, and the clerk said it was "buy one get one half price" and wasn't there another pair of shoes I would like? It just so happens that they had the shoes that the SLC Urban Princess wore that I had envied. They were already on sale, and then I got another half off of that....so how could I refuse? It seems that the Urban Princess and I are the only ones who like these shoes, because they still had a lot of them left! Anyway, those are my new shoes for the evening. I think they will go nicely with my beaded vest. I just hope the fact that I wore them yesterday doesn't ruin the tradition. I think it was a made up tradition anyway, because I googled it and could only find one obscure reference pertaining to CHINESE New Year. Maybe I'll get some more new shoes in January, just to be safe.

Urban Princess......Is this your shoe?

Would this be totally lame?

Yesterday I decided to forego the 15 and walk to work, in an attempt to pay for my sins over the holidays. As I was walking by the Ogden (a small concert venue nearby) I noticed a concert bill in the window for Constantine Maroulis of American Idol fame. Anyone who knows me, knows that I've always had a thing for long haired boys, so you can imagine that I was a big fan of Bo, Constantine and Anwar last season. I did think that Constantine got a little full of himself before he got booted, but he was still pretty cute. So, my question is, is it wrong to go see someone's show just because you think he's cute? Are you supposed to get over that when you're 14? Would you go? Would you admit to it? And...I wonder who else I could get to invest the twenty bucks to go with me. I really haven't heard any of his music except what was on the show, but with titles like "Rich B*itch" and "SomeofMyF*ckedUpWorld" I'm sure it's worth a listen. Also, the band has released both an explicit lyrics and a clean lyrics version of their CD. What nice guys! I just wonder how you do a song like "SomeofMyF*ckedUpWorld" with clean lyrics.

In other news...things are going quite well with my new barista. I think I love him, even though I don't even know his name. I know what hours he works, and unfortunately, I have to wait until 11am to get my coffee now. Oh well....its worth it. One of my clients just gave me some Starbuck's cards, so it looks like the relationship can continue.

I didn't dream this....here is proof

I was reading blogs today when I should have been working, and I stumbled across this great blog that some guy did all about East Colfax....my "hood." (I probably shouldn't use that term. It sounds like someone old trying to sound young.) It's a photo blog, and this guy has taken tons of pictures that I wish I had taken of weird things and people around here that I love. One of the weirdest is a guy I had seen on the bus a month or so ago, but when I describe him to people, they can't believe it....and now I've found a photo. <---(You MUST check out the link.) I'm so glad I found the picture, because it gives me the opporunity to tell the story of that night.....which I personally find pretty amusing. And that's what's REALLY important, right?

So....I get on the bus and take my seat near the front, as I usually do. I look up and the first thing I see is the guy in the photo....in his duct tape suit. I try not to stare, but it's pretty hard not to. And, I figure anyone who wears an outfit like that is probably used to people staring. Also seated in the front of the bus are two black ladies and a guy who is past stumbling drunk. I would call him, "Please let me get to where I'm going before I pass out" drunk. He could barely sit up and you can only imagine the aroma. He's kinda talking and laughing with these ladies and he decides to move to sit right next to one of them. You can tell she's not thrilled, but she attempts to continue the frivolities. Finally, she has all she can take of this guy breathing in her face, and she stands up and says, "Maybe Rosa Parks didn't do it.....but I'M moving to the back of the bus!" I found it hilarious, but as I write this, I'm wondering if it's one of those things where "you had to be there."

Anyway....I'm pretty excited about the photo blog. I love to see when other people appreciate the wackiness of where I live.

And now....the Magic

Next time I start whining about not feeling loved, I hope someone will slap me and remind me of today. In my family, instead of buying everyone a gift, the adults all bring a generic gift, and we play that game where you draw a number and pick a gift when your number comes up. Or, you can steal someone else's gift. Number 1 is the best number to draw, because you get to go first, but then at the end, you get your choice of any gift you want. The gift I brought to exchange was a wire flower looking thing that holds pictures or notes. I felt it was kind of boring, so I had the idea to print up a bunch of pictures of myself, and put them on the holder. I figured it would make the gift so much more desirable, or at least it would get a good laugh. So, my niece Tamie got number one, and she picked my picture holder. She laughed and asked if she had to keep my pictures in it if she kept it. I said no, but that I was sure she would want to. Her 8 year old daughter Haley saw the gift and she says, "Mom....I WANT that." Then she turns to me and says, "And I would keep your pictures in it." I should tell you that Haley and I have always had a special bond. I think it was because I introduced her to my old Pee Wee's Playhouse videos, and she loved them. I was the only adult that she invited to her birthday slumber party when she turned 7. So, Haley takes a hold of this picture holder and hangs on to it while everyone else chooses their gifts. No one stole the gift from Tamie, and then it came her turn to decide if she wanted to keep it, or pick any other gift. As she got up to look around at the other gifts, Haley begged her to keep the picture holder and actually got tears in her eyes as she held it close to her and looked at the pictures. Everyone in the room, especially me, was shocked at how important this gift seemed to her. Tamie chose to keep it. You know...in my head, I know that there are people out there who love me, but it's just not often enough that I really FEEL it like I did today. It was a great reminder to spend more energy cultivating the relationships I do have and spend less energy fretting about the relationships I don't have.

It's Christmas time in the City

Here's what Christmas looks like at my house.

A new Christmas Tradition

Are there any rules against drinking and blogging? I hope not. As I was running errands today, I thought that a night at home with a bottle of wine sounded like a good thing. So, after my stop at Argonaut Liquors, I came home, turned on only the Christmas lights, lit the candles, and opened the wine. Then, in the darkness of my living room, I put on a CD that Steve gave me called Dark Noel, Vol. 1. WOW. It's a compilation of a bunch of Goth bands doing Christmas music. I was ready to hate it when I put it on, but because I love Steve, I knew I had to listen to it. It's actually pretty amazing. It's Christmas music like I've never heard before. So far my favorite song is "Welcome Christmas" from How the Grinch Stole Christmas by a band called Love Spirals Downward. Now that's a song I don't have on any of my other Christmas compilations. What a refreshing change from all the "most wonderful time of the year" stuff. Sometimes I just want to scream when I hear that song. Tomorrow it's fun and family and craziness, but tonight I indulge in a little bit of melancholy. Life is definitely about both....Magic and Loss....as Lou Reed says.

Now, if only I can resist the urge to drink and e-mail. That's ALWAYS a bad idea.

Merry Christmas everyone.....or at least to the two or three of you who read my blog! I really will tell others about it soon. I promise!

I'VE ARRIVED!!!

....or at least my blog has. In just a few short weeks of bloggerdom I've made it to the sidebar of the Urban Princess's blog. This is a great honor because I have spent the last 2 weeks...since I actually met her in person...religiously reading her blog and many of the blogs she has linked. They are some of the most entertaining blogs ever....and now I'M ON THE LIST! It kinda feels like I'm part of a family or something. Now maybe I'll be brave enough to respond to the blogs of some of the other "family" members. I've wanted to a time to two....but I thought...."These people don't know me. I can't start responding to blogs of complete strangers," even though I guess it's done all the time. So, if any of you have stumbled over to my blog, please say hi, and I'll do the same, and I hope we come to know each other in that weird cyber "I don't have a clue who you are, but I think I love you," sort of way.

I must take this opportunity to thank Sara Z for letting me share her blog friends. It seems none of my other friends have blogs, so I've had to latch on to hers. Hopefully it's not too much like world's colliding for you, Sara! I just think you have fun friends. (I have fun friends too...they are just blog-less.)

The bad part of all of this??? I think I'm acquiring a new ping pong ball. Just what I need!

Oh what a night on the 15

I should have known when I got on the bus and was nearly run over by a radio controlled car, that this would be no ordinary night. It seems the guy sitting across from where I wanted to sit, just purchased said car for his 7 year old nephew for Christmas, but he couldn't wait to get home to play with it, so he had to run it up and down the aisles of the crowded bus. So, we go one stop, and 4 punk looking girls, each with a different color of neon hair, get on. They seem nice enough, except for one keeps singing the line, "I....wanna rock and roll all night...." over and over again in a real whiney voice. One of these girls sits next to me. Next stop, a bunch of gangster looking kids with their baggy pants that are held up by God only knows what, get on, with a baby in a huge stroller and arm loads of Chinese food....smelling up the whole bus. Next....the stumbling drunk crowd gets on.....and there are no seats....so the fact that they are stumbling becomes a real issue. I nearly had one guy in my lap. Another guy drops his coat, and a bottle of whiskey falls out. As he tries to get it, the hard hat he was carrying nearly falls on the head of the baby in the huge stroller. This sends the mother of the baby into a furry, and then of course the guys have to show their machismo and back her up. They start pushing and shoving, trying to push the drunk guys off the bus. Since this is nearly happening in our laps, the punk girl and I look to each other for moral support and shake our heads in disbelief. Luckily, the gangster kids got off at the next stop, before an all out riot ensued. The drunk guys then found seats (with a little help from me, because they were too drunk to notice them by themselves), the punk girl and I shared how this was the craziest we'd ever seen it on the 15, and I got off at the next stop, wishing the bus driver "good luck."

Once I was on the bus with one of my favorite drivers....a guy who had been a policeman in Baltimore, but it got to be too much for him, so he came to Denver to work for RTD. Someone asked him if he ever wanted a different route. He said, he was more afraid of the routes in the suburbs, because someone might hit him in the head with a laptop or something. At least on the 15, he knew what he was up against. That was one of the best things I've ever heard on the bus, but in thinking it over, I think I love the city for the opposite reason. I never know what I'm up against.....and it's never boring.

Books and Coffee

They opened a new Starbucks in my building yesterday. Apparently, the one 75 yards across the street was just too inconvenient to get to for some people. I've been watching them put the place together and train employees, and I've noticed one pretty cute guy among the mix. I've already begun to think of him as MY barista. I hope we will have a long and happy relationship.

So, I was on Sara's blog yesterday, and saw that she added this little Library Thing to her site. I thought it was great, so of course, I began logging nearly every book I own....or at least every book that I'll ADMIT to owning. The sad part is, I think I've only read a fraction of these books. My problem is that reading puts me to sleep. I'll start to read, and before I know it, I'm nodding off. I must figure out a way to overcome this problem because all of the sudden I feel this desperate need to read everything in my library. I think I have some pretty good stuff, although I must admit that some of it feels like it came from a former life. I don't think I'm the same person I was when I bought many of these books, but I listed them anyway. If nothing else, it shows the history of where I've been, and maybe even gives a glimpse into where I hope to go.

Ping Pong Balls Part 2

Remember that "food" ping pong ball that I thought I had under control in the last post? Do you suppose my stopping by Dairy Queen for a Blizzard when it was 15 degrees out might be a sign that it popped back up? I could barely hold the cup, my hands were so cold....but I still ate it. Guess I just needed some comfort from an old friend. Oh well....back on the wagon today. That's the important thing.

In other news.....I had a lovely time at Scott's new place on Friday night. Steve, Anne, and I were invited over for cocktails. Upon entering, if felt like we just stepped back in time to a very mod pad from the 60's. It was decorated impeccably, with no details forgotten....right down to the percolator for coffee. When was the last time you had coffee made from a percolator? It was very fun and Scott was a fantastic host.

In still OTHER news......the shoes worked out fine for the Nutcracker outfit....except they were not exactly made for warmth. My feet were FREEZING! But we had a good time nonetheless. I took four of my little nieces ages 8, 10, 10, and 12. After the Nutcracker, we went to Buca Di Beppo, and were lucky enough to score the kitchen table without reservations! That NEVER happens. The girls had a fun time saying "ciao" to everyone that walked by. Then...even though we were SOOO cold, I took them for a horse drawn carriage ride. We shivered, sang Christmas Carols, and shouted "Merry Christmas" to everyone we saw. Then, back to my place for movies and a slumber party. I believe I can state that a good time was had by all.....especially me. I just hope the bags under my eyes don't show too much today.

Now...if only I had a weekend to recover from my weekend.

Ping Pong Balls

I have an addictive personality. I like the analogy of addictions being like ping pong balls in a pool. You might be able to hold down a few at a time, but usually another one pops up somewhere. Mostly my "drug" of choice has been food, but for the time being, I have that one under control. I've lost 75 lbs and counting. So, now that I'm doing pretty well keeping the food ball under water, the spending ball is popping up. My Visa bill was a bit shocking this month. I attribute it to Christmas. Not that I'm buying that many presents, but just that I get caught up in the spending frenzy. Don't get me wrong....I'm not behind on any bills or anything. It's just that my bank account is not where I like it to be. I was thinking that I really should start trying to get THIS ball back under water, but as I was driving to Best Buy tonight to pick up my new laptop, I decided to stop at DSW Shoes. Ever since I saw Nickel Creek a couple of weeks ago, I've been wanting a cute pair of brown boots like the woman in the band wore. They didn't have the boots I wanted, so instead I found the cutest little pair of flats that match the outfit I'm wearing to the Nutcracker this weekend PERFECTLY! So, I decided to pull the credit card out once more. I partly blame...or credit...my new friend SLC Urban Princess. When I met her on Sunday, she had the cutest embellished flats on. I was going to go buy the same ones (with her permission of course), but instead, I got these that were inspired by her shoes. Note the black velvet on the shoes that match the black velvet jacket....and the salmon flowers in the shoes matching the salmon camisole top. And they are flat so that my feet don't get tired traipsing all around town with my little nieces. It just doesn't get much better than this! I just hope I remember this feeling when I get next month's Visa bill.

The 15 bus

I ride an interesting bus to and from work. You don't just get your average business commuter.....but you literally get ALL kinds. When I started this blog, I imagined I'd come home every night and write about my amusing bus anecdotes. But of course, then it seems I hit a dry spell. Or else, I've just gotten so used to the insanity that it doesn't seem noteworthy. So tonight, FINALLY I have a story. A young woman gets on the bus and sits near the front next to an older man who looks like he's been sucking a lemon. She turns to him to ask him the time, but he doesn't even acknowledge her existence.....so...she asks him again. He still stares straight ahead. Finally another woman nearby tells her what time it is. Then the first woman begins to explain that she has a watch (which she then shows) but the crystal fell off of it, so she super-glued the hands on so she wouldn't lose them. Now...what a surprise....it doesn't keep the correct time! (But she still wears it!!) (No...you can't make this stuff up.) Then I guess, she assumed that the woman who gave her the time cared to hear even more about her life, so she began to explain why she was carrying this very large Christmas bell, with a big red bow on it, which she referred to as a cow bell. She said she bought it for her friend's girlfriend. She doesn't really like this girl, but she felt obligated to get a gift....so she got her this "cow bell" which was on sale at the nearby thrift store. Then, just before she gets up to exit the bus, she says, "She's not fat or anything.....she's just a bitch!"

Gotta love the 15.

A Musical Diversion

One nice thing about living in the city is the opportunity for entertainment and cultural experiences at my fingertips. I don't take advantage of them as often as I should, but I'm improving. Last night, I found out that one of my favorite new artists, Andrew Bird was opening for Nickel Creek right down the street at the Fillmore. So, after work, I walked on over and got in a line about 1/2 block long, about 30 minutes before the doors opened. You could tell it was a bit of an "older" crowd, because all the people in the front of the line rushed for the seats on the side, leaving the front of the stage wide open. I got a standing spot front and nearly center.

Andrew Bird was weird and quirky and amazing to watch as he crafted his music. Since I'm terrible at describing music, I will quote the Righteous Babe website.

Bird is a masterful and intuitive singer / songwriter, and what he does while performing — alternately plucking and bowing his violin, then immediately sampling the results, layering the sounds with guitar, whistling, glockenspiel and vocals— bears little resemblance to what most people might expect. It's only one of several devices in his arsenal of instruments, melodies, and imaginative wordplay.

The glockenspiel seemed to give him a lot of trouble last night. It kept falling off it's stand. Luckily, there were no injuries! That can really ruin your evening.

Nickel Creek was a pleasant surprise for me. They are a young bluegrass band with a lot of rock influence thrown in. They are amazing musicians, and they put on a good show. The highlight had to be their version of Britney Spears' Toxic. Imagine that song with violin and mandolin. It was pretty unique. They also did some serious bluegrass music with beautiful harmonies and touching lyrics.

I don't know why I seem to always be attracted to the little known opening acts, but it's a great way to meet people when they are standing around saying "Who's opening tonight, anyway?" And I get to be exposed to some new music too. I can see some Nickel Creek cds in my near future.

Next week's shows will be Rasputina on Friday and The Dandy Warhols on Saturday....and I don't know the opening band for either show. How disappointing.

Where to begin...

Gosh....starting a blog is harder than I thought. I wanted to begin with something profound or creative. I thought I would mostly write about life in the city, but sometimes around the holidays, what I see in the city can just be sad, and I didn't want to start there. So.....I thought I would start with my family's annual post Thanksgiving tradition of hitting the mall to get into the holiday spirit. I know some people wouldn't be caught dead there and don't get why we enjoy it so much.....but maybe the picture will give you a clue. It always helps to have someone to carry your bags.

So....there's a start.....for what it's worth. Stay tuned. Maybe I'll get to profound or creative.