An addition

Ever since my dog died last April, I've been contemplating what to do next about a pet. I've debated if I'd rather have the freedom of no pets, or if it's better to sacrifice the freedom to experience attachment to another living being. I've always been a dog person, and I love the companionship of a dog and they way they seem to open doors in some situations. I mean...you go anywhere with a dog, and people stop and want to pet your dog, or ask you about your dog. They are such social beings. But, dogs take a lot of work and a lot of attention. Lannie was older, and she was okay with staying home by herself all day, but I wondered if another dog would be. Also, Lannie didn't really try to get out of the yard, so I felt okay with the state of disrepair of my fence. I started wondering if maybe a cat would be a better fit for my current lifestyle. I could go away for a weekend and not have to worry about leaving it with someone. I wouldn't have to feel guilty if I went out after work. Lot's of things just seemed to make sense about getting a cat over a dog. But...can a person really switch from being a dog person to a cat person?

I was with my nephew and his wife last weekend, and they have 5 cats and one of them really didn't seem to enjoy being around so many other cats, so we thought maybe I could take that cat on a trial basis and see how things go. So yesterday was the appointed day to pick up the cat. First I went to Petco to buy the appropriate supplies. The weirdest feelings began to come over me. I kept being drawn to the dogs in the store and the dog supplies and dog pictures. I finished the shopping and picked up the cat, but all the while it felt like I began grieving the loss of my dog all over again. Today I'm trying to bond with the cat, but I mostly just feel sad. I wonder if I can ever learn to love a cat or if I'll always feel like I settled. Will I ever stop feeling like I'm being disloyal to my dearly departed puppy?

The cat (Scully) seems to be adjusting okay. She hides a lot but comes around to me occasionally. I don't mind the hiding as long as I have an idea where she is, but for about 4 hours this morning I had no idea. I looked everywhere I could think of, with a flashlight. I was getting nervous that she got trapped somewhere she couldn't get out of. I had looked so thoroughly that I really started getting worried. Finally, I shined the flashlight behind a laundry basket way back in my closet, and I saw a whisker. I hope we will bond, but if not, the agreement was that I could take her back. We'll see how it goes.